SIGH!~

I need to give out a big fat sigh now... And there are tonnes of reasons for it. First of all, revision week's coming to an end. And it seems like there is not much progress at all. I know that this is gonna be like... my 2 last papers the rest of my life? probably? I keep telling myself to really study... for just less than 1 week and then I can really play hard. BUT! Sigh... I just don't have the will power. The drive. I'm doing everything and anything but study. Everything and anything: watching drama, reading k and j pop news, reading world news, doodling in my diary, surfing around fb, staring blankly at the calendar, etc. You name it. Sigh.

Talking about staring blankly at the calendar... That's the second thing to sigh about. Time really flies. I feel really really old and can't control my time now. I agree with Amanda. We're probably getting a lil' too old for study. We kinda lose our focus. For me, I just feel that I no longer have the drive which I used to have so much of back in my Secondary school days. Come to think about it, it's weird how I'm quite a hardcore fan girl now as compared to my days in Secondary school. Shouldn't it be the other way round? Oh well... whatever the case, the fan girl-ing time really came at the wrong time. I should really spend more time with my textbooks, powerpoint slides and more readings... :s Sigh.

In less than a month's time, I would have graduated. With what kind of results, I really don't know. looking at my rate... Sigh. I am not young anymore, I should know what I wanna do and my future route, what I want to do. But it is not the case. My future is a blur. The future is so near yet so blur. Just how short-sighted am I? I think I am almost blind. Sigh. I read about how Taeyang got into YGE. His passion for singing since he was a kid, and how he gave himself a b'day pressie on his 12th b'day. He joined YGE. Sigh... HE, knew that he was gonna become a singer at such a young age, the age when I was suppose to be studying for my PSLE but ended up in front of the TV one day before my papers. x_x Sigh.

I am not trying to find excuse. But I really find it especially difficult to study here. The environment is just not right. Not like there aren't any distractions back at home. Just that, it just feels different. i can't just turn on my study mode *snap* just like that. I really wonder why. And it is really not helping when the marketing and tourism content is not what we have always been studying. It's so dry and biz planning-like in the academic way. Ugh! I totally abhore exams for such modules. Sigh. Not like I have a choice. :( Alrighty, I think I should get going. Hopefully after this 'everything and anything' -- blogging, I will be able to at least concentrate for a lil' and complete my current chapter. x_x

SSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~ =============3 <- a long sigh...